Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The funny thing about judgmental people is that they are some of the most stressed out folks I have known in my life. The laid-back, take-things-as-they-come kind of folks tend to not attach many value judgments to people or things.
I think judging others--and we all do it; it seems to be human nature; but I mean folks who do it all the time--I think judging others shows overattachment to an idea or a value or a goal that the person is having trouble meeting themselves.
Think about it. The people who tend to gripe the most about gossipers, say, are usually the biggest gossips you know.
The people who go on and on about how bad liars are and how so-and-so is such a damn liar are usually the biggest tellers of untruths.
The people who are the most suspicious and unforgiving of infidelity are usually among the ranks of those who have or will also cheat.
You know that saying: "We hate most in others those things we most dislike in ourselves." Or that old saw about when you point your finger, three fingers are pointing right back at you?
The older I get (and I'll be fifty very soon), the more I realize there is genuine wisdom in a lot of this stuff I was told as a kid. When I gave up drinking, I had to teach myself how to forgive myself. I had to teach myself to stop judging myself by a bunch of yardsticks that weren't even necessarily mine. When I did that, the need to judge other people fell by the wayside. All those people I'd spent so many years thinking I was angry with, well, I wasn't really angry with them at all. I was angry at myself.
Peace, contentment, happiness, serenity... these are all states of mind that can only be found within.