So, I got out of the shower this morning and was toweling off in the bathroom while Chelle hovered near the sink, doing various and sundry grooming-related things. The following conversation ensued:
Chelle: Damn, I'm getting fat.
Me: It's okay, so am I.
Chelle: Oh, yeah, you're just FINE with me being fat because then nobody will want to steal me away from you!
Me: Yep. You've figured me out.
Chelle: Seriously, though, look at this pudge.
Me: Honey, I really don't care. You're perfect for me.
Chelle: (grumbling noise)
Me: Look. I've gotten pretty wide and it seems to have made no difference. Just as many people still flirt with me.
Chelle: PEOPLE FLIRT WITH YOU?
Me: People always flirt with me!
Chelle: Nobody flirts with me.
Me: I'll bet you they do--you just don't notice it.
Chelle: I'd think I know if people flirted with me.
Me: Nope. You're oblivious.
Chelle: Nobody flirts with me because they FEAR me!
Me: Oh please.
Chelle: They don't fear you, so they flirt with you.
Me: That must be it. They flirt with me because they think I'm easy.
Chelle: Stop being so easy.