Monday, December 13, 2010

On Not Fighting the Current

I am living a charmed life nowadays. Even when I think things may not be going well, I say a quick prayer—something like, “God, show me what to do here. I’m stuck about what’s right—“ and inevitably the situation resolves itself with a good outcome. I’m learning to follow my nose, trust my instincts, and trust that something will intervene if I misstep. God, or my guides, or however you want to label this Loving Force, shows itself all the time, mostly through other people: if my path is taken because of a poor choice, obstacles get set in front of me that make me reevaluate the decision, or if it’s smooth sailing, then I know I’m going the right way.

I know, to someone who is totally ego-driven, that this sounds naïve and insane. All I can say to that is, when I was the one in charge of all my decision-making, I often made bad decisions–even when I thought I was doing the right thing--and then had to suffer negative consequences. Whenever some little part of my life felt out of my control, I’d panic and do whatever I could do to try and force a particular outcome. The result was often chaos. Plans backfired; I hurt people; people and events were unpredictable; I often felt frustrated.

And it was I who kept making the decision to drink, even well after I knew my addiction was out of control. So, there you have it.

Let me tell you, we individuals don’t rule the world. You can suffer from the delusion that you do, but you are not the one in charge. The only thing you’re in charge of is YOU. And you can either fight the current with your ego the whole trip, or you can go along for the ride and enjoy the scenery on the way and get from this life whatever it is God intended for you to get.

When you decide to put your life in God’s hands, worries fall away, serenity enters your life, and everything that happens to you is part of a blessed plan.

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