Sunday, September 19, 2010

Tigger Logic

Well, I hate to disappoint my buddies (who are full of good ideas), but I've decided against writing fiction on this blog. This blog is many things, but it's also not really a place for creative writing (unless it's humor or something like that). I think this is because it's found a niche as a recovery blog and I have gotten used to this being a place where I come to process things that are, in reality, impacting me. Sometimes the posts hit a chord with others, sometimes not.

Plus writing fiction (for me) takes a huge time investment because writing fiction is something near and dear to my heart. I did get a master's in fiction writing at SFSU (the link I put up yesterday was actually to the lead story in my thesis, which--edited by the tremendously talented Patrick Ryan--found a home at Lodestar Quarterly). I have the first draft of a novel still gathering dust in my closet, and it's a project I'm not ready to declare dead, although it needs a total rewrite. I was still drinking when I wrote that first draft; alcohol is such a big part of that book, and even though it's fiction, like much fiction, a good portion of it is true--although it's a definite exercise in the futility of recollection as it actually was when the real truth of most matters to me lies more in feelings, lingering impressions, instead of the specific details)... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I do feel there is a book in me, but it's something I take seriously, so I want to invest my "fiction writing" energy in that rather than in playful fiction on this blog.

Besides all that, I already know of numerous blogs where the authors write stories in which their friends play the major characters ... but too often what started as a writing game seems to wind up weird for them, at least in the experience of a couple people I know who've done this. They wind up blending fantasies of how they want things to be while making themselves the heroes or heroines at the center of the action, and though on the one hand it's just in good fun, it winds up NOT being that. The fantasy life on their blogs invades the fantasy lives of people who read their blogs (whether they like it or not), and the two bleed together. The fantasy winds up driving the reality, instead of the other way around, and when people can't, or won't, separate the two, there is (simply put) fallout. I don't want my blog to become a pack of codes (which people inevitably decode in accordance with whatever their agenda at the moment may be). Ugh. It's too damn much.

I guess all I'm saying is that I want this blog to stay REAL.

Besides, a second book is kind of taking shape behind this blog, but it's a nonfiction collection of thoughts on recovery. We've talked about it on Facebook a couple of times, and I haven't abandoned the idea. I'm not sure how it would all come together, but perhaps it would wind up being a collection of posts centered around the various twelve steps, or around topics that come up during recovery (eg, dealing with cravings, dealing with trigger situations, dealing with difficult people, letting go, forgiveness, denial, all of that).

But thanks for giving me something to ponder these last few days. I'll end with a final thought.

Blogger is easy. Instead of ME writing it, why not YOU?

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