Friday, March 5, 2010

PMS and Snarky Days

Dear God:

I know I've been created perfect, in your image, yet as a human being I'm fallible because...well, because of that Eve chick you made from Adam's rib. (Adam was just the rough draft, right?) And then, as the Bible tells us, you punished us gals by making childbirth painful.

I suppose you've also punished everyone else by giving us PMS.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry, God. I just hate being perimenopausal.

So, God. I've been cross all day, no pun intended. Sarah Palin annoys me, that closeted gay representative in Sacramento who has been voting against gay rights annoys me, and then a mentally ill man takes on the Pentagon in an anti-government rage. What is the world coming to? They're also talking about privatizing education in California to help us out with budget cuts, but I'm afraid that's a horrible mistake. Education is all about academic freedom, an exchange of ideas, teaching students to think for themselves. If corporations--which exist to make a profit--are running our schools, what will it benefit them to produce independent thinkers? I fear that we'll become a nation of sheep.

And then, God, something else pissed me off today. I felt my privacy being invaded. This made me want to lash out--and then, angry at myself for reacting that way, I wanted to collapse into myself and bar the world away. Six months ago I would have tried to drink this feeling away. Thank you, God, that I didn't.

And look at me: how ridiculous I am. I'm sitting here blogging, blaming you for my PMS.

Yet...yet, just when I was deciding to hang it up for today, eat a quick supper, crawl into bed with a good book and start all over again tomorrow, I read something about gratitude that made me feel better. My friends shared it. A man tells the story of how he taught his complainer of a mom to add "and my life is really blessed" to the end of every complaint she utters. After some time had passed, her whole attitude was different and people began to remark upon the glorious change.

It is all about attitude, isn't it, God?

It's not quite 6:00pm; there are hours left to give to this day. I don't want to be nasty anymore, so:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled
as to console;
to be understood,
as to understand;
to be loved,
as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."

Thanks, God. I feel better now. Check in with you later on tonight.

Your loving,
Joyce

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