Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Serena Williams: Baby Got Back

A tip o' the pen to one of my dearest friends, who today sent me a text message that said, "Oink."

She then directed me to ESPN, where Serena Williams, in a green tennis suit/skirt thingy, was bashing tennis balls and basically beatin' the puddin' out of Shahar Peer (who was dressed in an orange tennis suit/skirt thingy, prompting me to text back to inquire if they were the Sherbet Girlz).

But I digress. Alas, it's true. Serena Williams has gotten, um ... shall we say a little out of shape? Her arms still look awesome, but she could stand (like most of the rest of us) to lose a little Christmas Season pudge. Peter Bodo, who writes for Tennis.com, put it this way:

MELBOURNE, Australia -- The biggest story thus far at the Australian Open has been Serena Williams and, yes, I do know that you could take that any number of ways. There's no doubt that the WTA's diva supreme is overweight, and in a way that makes it impossible to imagine that she has done anything that even remotely resembles routine fitness training and self-policing when it comes to her diet. At the same time, when you can bring game of the kind Serena's trotted out under the hard Melbourne sun, you can suck down a bag of Doritos, top it off with a couple of Ho Ho's and who's going to get all mouthy about it?

See for yourself:

Of course, all things being equal, the TRUE YET FOILED WINNER of the Australian Open, Amelie Mauresmo, could probably stand to help herself to some of Serena's Ho-Ho's. Je suis désolée, mon amour.


Cap'n Dyke said...

YIPE! Pauvre, pauvre poossiecat...

Joyce said...

Ahoy! Thar's me Cap'n! Was afeered ye'd gotten run aground. I did go over t'other day fer a chat with Granny Patch, about me ole hangin' boobages (not). So who 'tis it ye'd be feelin' sorry fer? Serena, Amelie, or ol' Hapless here, shiverin' me timbers up in Spokane?

Cap'n Dyke said...

Me Hapless One, Not t'worry, Th' Cap'n n'er be far away. Wrestlin' animals may keep me away for a day or so, but I'll always be back. ;)

So, did ye get a proper answer from me Ol' Granny? She be a mite fiesty, but her heart be in th'right place -- most o' th'time. Th'rest o' th'time, it be wanderin' off until I fetch it back, but that be another story.

As for feelin' sorry for someone. It be ye, apparently, with yer shiverin' timbers.

Get ye bootie down here t' th'beach an' I'll have me lackeys build a roarin' bonfire t'warm yer bootie!

Joyce said...

Well, me Cap'n, Granny Patch suggested duct tape for th'boobs, and since I already wear exercise bras half th'time ... uhh ... but she's a comely lass, now ain't she, that Granny Patch, aye?!

At what beach d'ye berth? I'd'twould luv to join ye and yer Mound o' Blue Uns. I did put a li'l link up thar on th'corner o' me blog if'n yer'd rather reach such negotiations in private.

--Yer Hapless One

Cap'n Dyke said...

Me Hapless One -- Aye, Granny Patch be quite th'comely one at that, iffin ye count in her age an' th'fact that she wears her hat so fetchingly as t'draw th'eye away from her toothlessness.

I didn't know she used duct tape in th'manner she let known t'ye (havin' no problems with me own boobages -- th'tight uniform keeps 'em right where they need t'be; out o' me way).